The Why Behind The Light After
It was a survival journey that slowly turned into a mission.
Because the truth is…I was one of the lucky ones.
And I don’t say that lightly.
I could have very easily become another statistic in Australia’s domestic violence crisis.
That’s the reality so many women are living with right now.
In Australia, one woman is still being killed by a current or former partner almost every week.
And behind every statistic is a woman who once thought:
“Maybe it’ll get better, I'll just stay a bit longer.”
“Maybe if I try harder he won't get so angry.”
“Maybe if I stay calm and do as I'm told.”
"Maybe he'll change."
I know those thoughts because I lived them. And I know I’m not alone in that.
There have been countless victims of domestic violence homicide in Australia, including women such as Allison Baden-Clay, Tara Brown, Kelly Wilkinson, and many others whose names are less well known but whose lives mattered just as much.
Yet, the case of Hannah Clarke affected me deeply. I think it affected so many Australian women. Not just because of the horror of what happened to Hannah and her children…but because so many women recognised parts of their own relationship in her story.
The coercive control.
The fear.
The walking on eggshells.
The constant monitoring.
The feeling that even after leaving…you’re never truly free.
Her story forced Australia to have a bigger conversation about coercive control and the dangerous period after separation – which is often when women are at the highest risk.
The Reality Behind Domestic Violence
Domestic violence is not simply “relationship conflict.” It is trauma. Coercion. Entrapment. Survival.
Many women leave abusive relationships carrying invisible wounds long after the relationship ends.
In Australia, on average, one woman is killed by an intimate partner every 11 days.
One of the strongest predictors of future homicide is non-fatal strangulation.
Research has shown that women who have experienced strangulation by a partner are over 7 times more likely to later become victims of attempted homicide, and up to 8 times more likely to be killed by that partner.
And honestly…that personally hit home for me deeply.
Because leaving is not the finish line people think it is.
There’s this moment after you finally get out where everybody kind of exhales and says:
“Thank goodness. You’re safe now.”
But inside?
You’re still terrified. Your nervous system is still living in survival mode.
You still jump at sounds. You still feel emotionally tied to the person who hurt you.
You still carry the fear in your body. You still feel watched. Triggered. Frozen. Disconnected from yourself.
And sometimes…so embarrassed and ashamed that you’re still affected at all.
That’s the part nobody really prepares women for.
There are incredible domestic violence services in Australia, and they absolutely save lives.
They help women escape dangerous situations every single day.
But I personally felt there was a gap afterwards. A gap between: surviving and truly healing.
Because many women leave the relationship…but their body never fully leaves the trauma.
That’s the gap The Light After was created to support.
The Light After was created with the understanding that healing from domestic violence is not simply “moving on.” It is not a replacement for professional support or crisis counseling.
But as a healing space for women who are already out…yet still carrying the emotional imprint of everything they survived.
For the women exhausted from retelling their story.
For the women who want privacy.
For those who feel spiritually, emotionally, mentally and physically affected by what happened to them.
For those who don’t necessarily want more clinical language…but desperately want to feel safe inside themselves again.
I created The Light After because I know what it feels like to lie awake late at night searching for truth about:
“Why am I still so scared?”
“Why does my body still react like it’s happening – even though I'm out?”
“Am I ever going to feel safe again?”
And I know there are thousands of women silently suffering and searching for those same things right now.
The Light After became the collection of tools, practices, teachings and healing experiences I wish I’d had during those years.
Gentle tools. Private tools. Nervous-system-focused tools. Body-led tools.
Healing that goes deeper than simply understanding the trauma intellectually.
Because sometimes healing begins the moment a woman realises:
“I’m not crazy...my body is responding exactly the way trauma taught it to survive.”
And from there…little by little…she can begin coming home to herself again.
Supporting the Organisations That Support Survivors
A percentage of profits from sales of The Light After is donated to organisations supporting victim-survivors, including Small Steps 4 Hannah and Court Network.
During my own journey through the court system, the support of Court Network volunteers made a meaningful difference at one of the most overwhelming times of my life.
Their presence, guidance, and compassion helped me navigate a process that can feel intimidating and isolating for many survivors – especially when you have to face the abuser again.
By supporting organisations like these, The Light After hopes to contribute to a future where more people can access the practical and emotional support they need to feel safe, heard, and empowered as they rebuild their lives.